that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
