I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
and she was petting her beer can
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
