The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
