Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
