what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
