I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
