I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
