She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
