Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
