Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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