When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
