and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
