i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
