Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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