i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
