you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
