Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
