They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize