Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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