Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
