i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
