you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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