Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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