He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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