sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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