fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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