last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize