it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!