girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.