Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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