Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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