My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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