once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
