He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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