so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
