This is not my ceiling
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i think i just lost a toe
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
