No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
