Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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