Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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