What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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