Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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