i think i have herpe
just one?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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