im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
