don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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