she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
