We're like a lot better than the average bears
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh god it's open bar.
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