Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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