I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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