yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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