I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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