i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just cropdusted the office
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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