Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
