Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
