in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Drunk is not a location!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
