It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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