She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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