Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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